Category Archives: Thoughts

A day in the life… of my newest thoughts

Thought for today


Wrestle with this…

“I want peace so badly that I’m willing to listen if that’s what it takes. I’m even willing to let you speak first. And while you are speaking I will not be formulating a reply. I will not be identifying all the ways you’re wrong. I will be considering all the ways you could be right.”


Read entire blig post here:



Week..I lost count


Today, I had a pretty good day. The kids were pretty well behaved, except for the little guy who thought jumping off a desk was a good idea. We tried white boards for the first time in writing, and it went…OK. I have high expectations for tomorrow. But today something really special and really scary happened.

I have this one little girl in my class, who’s just super sweet and always on task. We also dress similarly every now and again. Don’t worry, I leave my J. Bieber shirts at home on school days. But, for instance, I work a pink, floral skirt one morning with a yellow shirt and she was wearing a pink skirt/ yellow shirt. Today, she was dressed in a patterned dress today like the Math teacher in my group. It’s always a game to figure out who she’s dressed like that day. But today, she asked me what I was wearing tomorrow. I responded that I wasn’t quite sure and we’d have to use our telepathic minds to dress alike tomorrow. Then, as I was telling this story to my coach and a couple other fellows a new feeling developed within me . These kids want to be like us. They are looking and watching our every move, imitating us at our best and, unfortunately, at our worst.

Tonight, my prayer is that I strive to be someone worth imitating in my classroom, in Nashville, in the world. Please join me in this prayer for me and for you.

A first week teacher



Teaching is harder than I ever thought it would be. There is nothing like losing to four 1st grade boys. Good thing they only made me cry, twice, right? All in all, it was an amazing week. One hundred times better than sitting in training for twelve hours straight. Each time I stood up to deliver one of my lessons, I grew as a teacher. My strong voice, my downward intonation patterns, positive reinforcement. It’s really neat getting to watch myself progress and I’m excited to see what this next week holds.

This past week I had two classrooms of about nine students each. This week, because they want to give us an authentic experience of what stepping in our classrooms will be like in August, they are combining classrooms, giving us each shy of about 20 students. Pressure is own to maintain and continue growing in the areas that need growth, much growth. aka:Strong Voice.

Also, the first famous person I’m going to meet is Doug Lemov! He’s coming to observe our classrooms tomorrow and our off stage practice during training in the afternoon. He’s the author of Teach Like A Champion, The New Teacher Project’s bible. I am slightly disappointed he’s not more famous for being my first Nashville star, but let’s be honest: If I saw someone famous I probably wouldn’t know it.

Sorry for the lack of keeping up with everyone I’ve been doing. The 18 hour work days are harder than I anticipated. Even today I put in a good seven hours.

Enough about school.

Nashville is still everything I could want, at least for now! Last night I went with some friends to eat at this Vegetarian restaurant called the Wild Cow in East Nashville. It was a fun experience. Obviously, the food wasn’t up to par for my palate but the vegetarians at the table though it was the excellent. Anyways, if you come to visit, we won’t be going there.

CMA fest was this past week in Nashville. All the country stars at my fingertips. I went to bed early. Speaking of going to bed…I have a countdown going until I move into my permanent place and sleep in my own bed. I won’t tell you how many days I have left, it’s too depressing. 

This morning I got to experience half of a worship service at a new church. Between the rain keeping me in bed and needing to stop for gas, I arrived a lot late. Luckily, my friend Erin saved me a seat! I went to McKendree which is in downtown Nashville. The congregation is very diverse from race to age. I’ve learned the best way to meet people at a new church is to ask for directions in the parking lot. Then, the members of the congregations show you around the whole place! By whole place, I mean the hallway and door leading to the sanctuary. That was fine though. It left some adventuring up to Erin and I. We went to the north part of the church and tried walking into this quaint parlor. Low and behold, there was a man sleeping in one of the chairs that we didn’t notice, needless to say we were caught a little off guard. It was an awesome worship experience and I think I’ll be going back, especially when people come to visit!

Well, it’s been a fun week, prayers appreciated for this upcoming week as it holds my first salary/teaching/future interview! I’ll keep you posted!


Week 3


What a whirlwind of a week.

Sunday we had another awesome sermon about suffering and had a chance to reflect on the fathers and fatherly figures in our lives. The church i attend this summer is small, diverse, and God is moving in big ways in the life of the congregation. 

Monday my phone was stolen by someone, possibly a parent but maybe just a person who wandered into the church. It was my own fault for leaving it unattended while I trained the volunteers. I was in high hopes that maybe one of the kids had just grabbed it, but I rest confident that is not in the homes of one of my kid’s because I was making pretty good prizes for anyone who found it. Anyways, the new one came yesterday and should be activated by this afternoon.

Tuesday I was able to borrow one of my interns phones to make any and all calls. The kids and programming planned by the interns were both great, therefore I got tons of work done. I planned 2 field trips! We will be going to The Tennessee State Museum ( I’m going today to check it out, I’m kinda realllly excited!) and then we will also be going to The Frist Museum. I know most kids aren’t really into the whole museum thing, but the total cost of both field trips is $0.00 so they’ll have to appreciate what they are given. 

Wednesday flew by, but our evening meeting in preparation for week 4 (which means we are one week from being half way done with this new experience! so sad) was tons of fun. My team is really coming together, cracking jokes, and, for the most part, enjoying each other. 

And then there was yesterday, Thursday! Our first FAMILY FUN NIGHT! Family fun night is when we invite the kids and their families to all come to the church and share a meal with the interns, church members, and volunteers. WE had over 125 people in attendance and it was adorable to see our kids interact with all of their families. They were so proud of where they came from and really wanted to show their families off. Especially baby brothers and sisters. The interns and I got to see a new perspective of their life. Some of our kids really are their own parents and others have great parents who are just trying to make it with what they’ve been given. It’s a really diverse group.

Also this week we found out as a team that we won’t be able to do home visits which is where the team goes to the kids home and visits in a team on one family basis. When we told volunteers and church members about these ‘home visits’ we would be going on, their faces became blank. Many told me that I should reconsider. After talking to both of my bosses and them looking to trusting advice givers, the conclusion was made that it would  be much too dangerous for us to visit their homes. I found out that I’m serving in the most dangerous part of Nashville where there are anywhere between 3-12 gangs represented and gang violence is higher during the summer months. It’s also late afternoon when some of the people who hang out in the projects are either sobering up from last nights intoxication or just beginning that day’s drinking bonanza. There was also fear that we would end up in a situation and have no way out, such as finding drugs in the home or other illegal material and be mandated to report it, which could hurt the relationship that we are trying to build with our families. So when the decision was made to support our relationship with the families and church we decided it might be best to meet with our families upon arriving and bringing their kids to site in the morning and picking them up in the afternoons. Luckily, I’ve also been able to call a ton of our parents and build a relationship with them over the phone.

After this week, it’s obvious that our whole team is falling in love with  our kids and this summer is just starting to get good. 



So I might be the worst blogger ever. Here is jist of what has happened the last two weeks.

The first week with the kids was awesome. Our theme that was week was “to infinity and beyond. Buzz Lightyear, one of my interns, came to our site and told the kids all about his time in outer space and his star command journey. They were so intrigued! Here is a picture of Buzz himself. My site pastor Rev. Pet and house pastor, Sam decided they needed a picture with this Pixar superstar.


This last week we had empowerment week. Monday was unplanned and went really rough. Thankfully the week only went up from there. Thursday we had a talent show and it was so good! One of our 1st grade girls wore her tap shoes and did a dance for us. There were so proud to have the attention of all the other kids and especially the interns. Sam came for a visit that day, so they enjoyed having a “special guest” watch them too! We had a few of the boys break dance, a talent I never appreciated until I saw my own 3rd-5th grade boys doing it!

Also, another special moment from the past few weeks. I’ve began to love the older boys in the program. One day at recess I was invited to play football with them. Growing up without boys I didn’t have much experience with a football in my hands, but it was so much fun!

Another little boy is an attention-seeking child. He runs the show most days and it has been a real challenge for the interns and I to have him where he’s suppose to be. He is constantly in my office for one reason or another and we get to have a talk about why he can’t behave. All that is easy, and then every time I send him back to his class, he hugs me! It’s hard to discipline a child who hugs!

We have some special prayer request from our sites, no details, I just ask that you pray for the 58 kids on the rooster. Serving in the most dangerous part of Nashville was easy at the beginning, then I realized I was sending my kids home to that. Trusting God is the only thing I can do.

As far as site is concerned, things are great and God has continued to bless each of us.

As far as community living on Belmont is concerned, we are still learning to love each other. When that happens, it’ll be much easier to love the kids. We are growing together though, it’s just going to take some time. Five of us went to the Nashville Rescue Mission (a men’s shelter) to volunteer at their coffee house. After leaving around 7:45, we decided it was time for some dinner. We traveled around East Nashville trying to find a southern style restaurant. Our attempts fell and in the middle of the pouring rain we decided to come back to Belmont and settle for something closer to campus. Chipotle it was! Luckily, I wasn’t with any of the interns who I had really gotten to know except Victoria from Truman and Katie from my first summer in Dallas. The floor was open so I made the five of us discuss questions like where we had come from and what kind of stuff we were passionate about. The conversation came back to Belmont with us when we all sat around a round table in the devotion room. At the end of the night, 7 others had joined us! It was great to see each of us actually learning about each other and why we act and think they way we do.

Sorry this post is kind of here kind of there. Maybe I’ll blog more regularly and they can flow a little better! Maybe…

Lastly, I want to share this picture that I found on my way to get lunch one day:


Catching up on the last two weeks

Seeking Treasure in a Season of Singlesness


A few year ago I made a list. A list that has only grown and become more nit picky and increasingly hard to meet, a list of expectations. These expectations weren’t for me. They weren’t for anyone I knew. They were for someone I was wish I’d meet. A list that consist of:

  • Seeks out Christ on his own, active in a church
  • Confidence
  • Supportive
  • keeps me accountable
  • doesn’t drink alcohol
  • doesn’t swear
  • doesn’t smoke
  • wants kids
  • does the dishes with me
  • enjoys his job
  • sings in the car
  • honest
  • kisses me in front of our kids
  • spontaneous
  • passionate about something
  • teaches me things
  • bakes cookies with me
  • FILLS my car up with gas (A MUST)
  • scarps the snow off my car
  • does devotions with me every night
  • keeps me second to Christ

Then, I decided 40 days ago (not including Sundays) that I was constantly thinking of who could fit this. More importantly, who couldn’t fit this and if I’d be okay with a life of singleness. So, I gave my heart to Christ during this season, to depart from the desires and make me into the person He wanted me to be rather than me hoping people would come in the form I wanted them to come in.

I can’t think of a better way to change over a season of Lent.

With so much of my life wrapped around what I wanted, I don’t know why I never made of list of qualities I should possess to be the kind of wife someone would want. Why didn’t I make a list that looked like:

  • keep my husband only 2nd to Christ
  • be vulnerable
  • pray for him at all times
  • encourage him
  • be strong when he’s weak
  • kiss him every morning
  • fight fairly
  • get a coffee maker that starts automatically so neither of us have to get up with out it already being made
  • and so much more

The true question. Why did I deserve a man that fit out the first list without being a woman that filled out the second. Why did I view myself as some kind of person who was worth another individual willing to change A, B and C about themselves without even looking at my faults and how I could change myself to fit in the picture of someone else’s happily ever after.

If it weren’t for the thoughts that someday I might want to look back and have a really big laugh, i’d shred the list of “thing I want in husband”. But, for now, I’ll keep it tucked away in a box and look more directly at the planks in my own eyes than evaluating the possible specks of dust in the eyes of my brothers in Christ.

Love, Love, Love


Is it possible. 

Yes, of course. We all see those cute couples who glow when the other’s name is mentioned. Those little old couples, best friends, who sit on park benches sharing ice cream cones. It’s what we dream of. 

Do we satisfy our wants with loving others? This is my struggle. Are we capable of love? No doubts. Are we capable of the love that we are called to give. I can only hope. When I start to think about the reasons I love people, I make post about them, and then delete them due to the embrassment of my own heart. Looking on the reasons I love, it commonly comes from what the other person can do for me. Like, I love him because challenges me, I love her because she provides, I love because (fill in the blank) I look at the smallest things, and yet, fall in love with them because of the joy they bring me. 

Is it okay to setlle with loving others things because of holes in the heart that are filled with their prescence as long as we fill holes in their heart’s as well?

We are continually loved through a love that will NEVER change, in any circumstance. May that statement continue to bless me. I want and pray so badly to have the heart of Christ, to love without reason. Love without reason. But, I can’t fathom the ability to love others that way. And it’s heartbreaking. Wouldn’t that be awesome? Isn’t that we are suppose to be doing? What is we answered questions with “because I love him/her/it”, without hesitation instead of ” I love because…” phrases — phrases being “…because I love.” What if I could love without questioning the reason behind it.  

What if my words, actions, and thoughts were all developed through a love, for humanity, through Christ. This is my prayer.